For the sufferers

Firstly: well done for coming to this blog and thank you for reading.

Secondly: none of use are doctors or professionals but we have lived with Eating Disorders and understand that they are a nightmare and that they are, everyday, a constant battle.

Thirdly: No one experience is the same. I urge you to live and grow as a person and try to fight your illness with all your heart and all your strength because you are not your ED and you can beat it.

If you are suffering form an ED it can be hard to see the positve things in life. It can sometimes be hard to tell the difference between what you want and what your ED wants. You want everyone to just go away and you don't want people to care. You can see your ED is hurting people so you puch them away to try and protect them. You feel lonely and awful. You constantly feel like you're being pulled in two different directions and you are exhausted emotionally and physically. Sometimes you catch yourself wondering "why?" and you can find no rational answer that actually comes from you but maybe some random answers from your ED.

No you are not mad.

No you are not a failure or a waste of space or people's time.

Having an ED is hard and it's not something a lot of people undertand. Professionals seem to have this attitude of black and white. They lable you say "this is what you are thinking" and then when you try to say that you're not thinking that but something else they say "no you are! your ED is telling you you're not." Professionals can be stuffy and frustrating. I remember leaving my psychiatrist in tears each time I saw her and thinking "does my dietician have a damn clue?" (especially when she would do random things like tell me my clothing must have upped my weight by a kilo or two when all I was wearing was a pair of short shorts and a tank top and no shoes.)
People tend to treat you with a polite (or impolite) attitude that says "you're a liar" or "you're just attention seeking." People can be cruel.
People, and professionals I feel, can be extremely reluctant to experience or try and understand something unknown and something that requires empathy and understanding as well as an understanding that there is no black and white. People tend to like to categorize you and rattle off a whole heap of options for treatment and your diagnosis & "your" behaviours.

In Canberra there are limited services and the ones we do have are not up to scratch. I would recommend that you see a GP and ask to be referred to a psychologist (it may take a while to find one you like and it may take a while to build a relationship with them but give it a hot) to discuss your issues. Talk to someone you trust and are close to. If you feel you cannot open up to your loved ones keep talking to your GP or psychologist. If you can't bare to bring yourself to seek help for an ED talk to someone about whatever is on your ind (you'd be suprised how theraputic this is as the ED grabs things to hold onto and make you feel insecure and unsafe so discussing things which may not seem related provide the ED less material to grab onto.)

Speak out. Reach out! There are people who will listen and there are people out there who know what you are going through.

All the best,
Kate xoxox